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AUTHOR SUBJECT: Play with my Banana
mokkimachi
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Posted: 10/13/2017 9:16:12 AM
A small production company recently approached me to get involved with a production titled "Play with my Banana". 

It's a romcom love story thing that takes place on a banana farm where through some twist of faith, the heroin is called Banana.  Which of course leads to comic confusion on a banana farm.  Ha ha.  Yeah.  Wow. 

I'll be consulting on the script and directing the movie, as well as DOP.  Also a small acting part, although I'm still a bit torn on whether to show my face in it.  Lots of banana jokes.    

Sounds fun though.  Something different for a change.  You think I'm doing the right thing getting involved with other people's movies? 

REPLIES:   10

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Posted: 10/13/2017 12:53:19 PM
 What does it matter. Nobody is going to see it anyway.
mokkimachi
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Posted: 10/13/2017 1:27:53 PM
Okay well speaking of which, I've just received the latest synopsis in my email. 

It's about a playwright who gets stranded on a banana farm where he falls in love with Banana and makes her his, whilst being asked to write a play for the banana harvest celebration. 

That explains the title, "Play with my Banana". 

My part is now much bigger but contains some nudity, as well as lots of bananas that create many embarrassing situations for some reason. 

I never had problems with bananas in real life but it seems in this movie the bananas are never more than 5 minutes away from being the cause of some kind of humor or comic relief. 


"What does it matter. Nobody is going to see it anyway."

Actually apparently some of these freakshows involved worked on District 9 and some Cape Town shot Hollywood movies.   They were probably the gaffers and makeup artists and production assistants or something bottomfeeding like that but who cares.  Let's not put cold water on their attempt.  

So the movie will probably be shopped around and picked up by whomever, however small. 

I don't mind.  I thought they're gonna pay me $500 but apparently it's $5,000 so yay! 



SLEEPTILLNOONPRO
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Posted: 10/13/2017 2:10:18 PM
 Marius...." You think I'm doing the right thing getting involved with other people's movies?" 

 HELL TO THE YEAH!!!  Let's see...you will be the DP and script consultant AND THE DIRECTOR!!!

It's gonna be YOUR movie! And what's even more beautiful...someone else is bankrolling the project! 5K you get paid? Not bad! You get any points too?

You made a wonderful movie called International Treasure..this'll be cake. Um, does it have a large cast? 

Anyway, huge congrats Marius!!! I'm proud of you big guy!


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Posted: 10/13/2017 7:23:06 PM
 District 9?  Didn't you say that the compound where white people live in South Africa is called District 9?  Yes. I'm sure you did.  You said it's called District 9 because each white person living there has 9 black people pointing guns at them at all times. 

Some of the people who worked on District 9 are involved?  What will they be doing; putting up barbed wire so your white ass can't get out. ZOINK!

mokkimachi
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Posted: 10/14/2017 11:27:50 AM
Uh, no dude.  District 9 was a fictional township in the movie of the same name, where prawnlike creatures lived while their spaceship was stranded over Johannesburg.  Can't remember why they couldn't go home.  Ran out of fuel or something. 

"
It's gonna be YOUR movie!"

LOL!, no, there's no way I'm doing this movie under my real name.  I'll need a seperate stage name for this one.  I read most of the latest draft of the script this morning. 

While I laughed my arse off for most of it, it's clearly the kind of movie 15 year old white trash kids who just started drinking beer and talking sex would enjoy.  It's nothing more than an over the top vulgar sex comedy parading as a romcom.  Almost like "The Hangover" meets "American Pie" having met "Road Trip" after having met voyeur porn with the genitals sensored with bananas.   

Well James would call it "vulgar" when he's in old man mode.  Whe he's feeling silly, he'll be jacking off to it whilst rubbing his nose in a tuna sandwhich and fingering Marisol with his other hand.

Anyway, if you think you can still childishly giggle at comic sex, you'll probably like this piece of beautiful cinematic filth.   



"
Um, does it have a large cast?" 

Let me pull down my pants.... *checking*... Yep! 

It has three very main characters and about 8 semi-main characters and lots of banana village extras.  Some are crew too cuz the whole thing is done guerilla style but looking technically flawless.  I was wondering how I'll do all my crew roles and act in it too, but if Adam Sandler can do it, a monkey can do it I'm sure.  

My character is the cocky son of a banana plantation owner, tentatively nicknamed "Big B" (Derived from "Big Banana" as called among the ladies).  He's basically a Stiffler from American Pie mixed with a stereotype of every flirty college jock you've seen on screen (think "Bad Neighbours" or whatever that crap was), arrogant and a threat to the main character's chances with Banana since my character takes all the bestlooking chicks from the area for a test drive.   

Heck knows why anybody thought that sounds like me.  I'm not cocky or vulgar in the least, but I suppose I could play it if I had to. 

But I need to do this type of filth under a different name so I don't get typecast.    


As for this draft of the script, some of these scenes are a bit over the top.  If they are pulled off right they could be tremendously funny, otherwise they'd come off as just plain vulgar and childish and ewww.  If I shared some of these scenes with you, you'll never be the same and might need a shrink.   

Some are the obvious banana jokes and then some just go too far.  Then again this movie is the type that can't go too far since it's already right down there in the gutter.  And that's why we are sure it will sell, and I think why we are all getting paid, even getting advances. 

So yeah, I'll have to start preparing for my role.  Lots of improvements to make to my person, and lots of practice to be had.



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Posted: 10/14/2017 2:28:15 PM
Listen to me you piece of crap.  Leave Marisol out of any  comments you have.  Say what you want about me but if you mention here again, you will be sorry..... very very sorry..  I will tear your apart. I will blast you with such a psychological force that it will haunt you in the dark hours of the morning.  You won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror without considering that maybe I am right. Maybe I know exactly who you are..

mokkimachi
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Posted: 10/14/2017 3:21:51 PM
"I will blast you with such a psychological force that it will haunt you in the dark hours of the morning."

You're on little freak boy!  Let's see who commits suicide first.  

Get your will in order.  Marisol will soon be a wealthy widow. 



"You won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror without considering that maybe I am right
"

Right about what?


"
Maybe I know exactly who you are.."

Uh like yeah.  Has it been some kind of secret?  Dumbass.  You're the only one who seems to be suffering from some kind of 50 first dates syndrome. 



"Leave Marisol out of any  comments you have."

..... ooooooooooooooh, you're tempting me now to mention her more than ever!  ;) 

Well ok, since you don't know my wife it's probably not a fair playground.  Let's never.... what were we talking about? 

See?  All forgotten.  Now let's never bring it up again. 


SLEEPTILLNOONPRO
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Posted: 10/14/2017 4:26:45 PM
 I have a feeling Mike is gonna post another video.

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Posted: 10/14/2017 5:15:10 PM
 See, Marius.  That wasn't so hard.  :)
mokkimachi
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Posted: 10/14/2017 10:22:23 PM
"That wasn't so hard.  :)"

Oh it can get hard allright.  VERY hard!!!  Whoooooooooo!!!

Oh wait.  We're probably not talking about the same thing.  See my mind is all sex obsessed since working on this slutty sex comedy. 

See there are two main scenes that are VERY sex obsessed but I'm going to make work without showing the yucky details.  The whole story basically rest on these two pillar scenes, even if they're a bit way out.  So I'm trying many ways to storyboard it. 

If these two scenes can work, the whole movie will work.  But these scenes are a little unlikely in real life, but if I can make them believably possible on screen, the movie is going to be one fucking funny ride.  No pun intended.

You and any wives you may have are going to thank me for creating something so damn hot and funny that any genitalia you may have are going to spontaneously erupt like volcanoes. 


"
I have a feeling Mike is gonna post another video."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooohh, you have "the feeling" eh????  There's only one cure for that. 




Well later fuckfaces!  I need to finish my notes and tentative storyboards for this script.  There are quite a few things I don't like.  Like the names of the main characters.  

Hey James, you come across as pretty vulgar.  What's a sexy play on a name for a playwright? 

Also, I don't like "Big B".  We need something sexier and bigger.   

Actually I don't like "Banana" either but that's the only way the title "Play With My Banana" will work.  Earlier I thought the name should just be "Banana Cream Pie" as a play on "American Pie", but it seems these people like their name "Play With My Banana" as a seductive alluring title of sorts that encompass the main plot.  Bleh.  


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